Cupidity by Hayley and Michael DiMarco

Cupidity: 50 Stupid Things People Do for Love and How to Avoid Them

Synopsis from Barnes and Noble
You’re a smart person. You really are. Most of the time. So why are you having such trouble making sense of your love life? Whether you’re single and wondering where your “one” could be hiding; head over heels in a new relationship and vowing that this time it’ll work; or finding that married life isn’t the thrilling adventure you’d once anticipated . . . you might be surprised to discover that the answer lies in your own ‘Cupidity’—stupid love. In this book, popular authors Hayley and Michael DiMarco identify 50 of the most common acts of Cupidity, ways to avoid them and learn from them, and some surprising things God has to say about relationships. With the help of their inside information, smart, successful love can be just around the corner.

Product Details
Pub. Date: January 2010
Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
Format: Paperback, 264pp

My thoughts:
I received a complimentary copy of this book book from Tyndale House Publishers for review purposes. I was expecting something different from this book, but as I continued to read it I found some parts that were very helpful and others that I am not so sure that I agree with.

The book is broken down into sections of stupid things men and women do all in the course of love, be it dating, looking for love or in marriages. The word for each of these things is cupidity. It is broken down into emotional acts, mental acts, physical acts, social acts and spiritual acts. One of their main points is that love is not a feeling because God commanded that we all love one another (as in loving your neighbor as yourself) so if it can be commanded it is not a feeling. Another is that you have to forgive or you cannot move ahead in your own life, but will remain stuck. If someone asks for your forgiveness and you refuse to get over whatever happened then you are the problem not the issue that needs to be forgiven (although if it is domestic violence that is a whole different issue that they give a chapter to).

One of the big things that stuck with me from reading this book is something that I have read before, you can't change someone else and the more you try to change someone else the less likely they are to change, but you can change yourself. So if you are unhappy with how things are going in your marriage or relationship think about changing the way you are reacting to the other person or some of the actions you yourself are taking and see how different outcomes become available. You can't make someone change, but changes you make in yourself can lead to changes in the other person. Even changing your attitude about something can have a large ripple effect on your life and those around you. If you recognize that there is a higher power that you can go to for help you will feel less alone and more empowered. Don't try to take away other people's chance to work through obstactles because those obstacles might have been put there for a reason.