Sunday, May 27, 2012

Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me by Chelsea's Family, Friends and Other Victims


"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."--Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness," the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

My thoughts:
Here is my first confession, I didn't read the description well enough and actually thought I was ordering a new book by Chelsea.  I know it is very clear that it is not written by her, but I was placing a quick Amazon order and needed to have $25 to get the free super saver shipping, so I added a book from my wish list not really paying attention to it as I should have.  It turned out to be a funny book and I enjoyed it, but it was just another reminder that, even though I love to read, I need to make sure I am reading the fine print.  I would hate to miss something more important than the author of a book!  (Actually, yesterday i went to the store because I really wanted ice cream cake.  It was hot, I'd run 10 miles and felt like I could splurge on it.  My daughter and I ran in quick, I shopped by price in the supermarket case, paid and left.  We got home and I discovered that the cake that was least expensive was only half ice cream, the other part was actually vanilla cake.  Since the chocolate ice cream part is the part I like least and was the only part I got I was really disappointed.  The universe is telling me to start reading the whole cover or package before I make a decision.  Recommendation is now noted!)

So, the book, since that was the point of the post.  There are thirteen chapters.  11 by friends or family, one by Chunk who is Chelsea's dog, and one of funny emails she has gotten from the censoring department about what needs to be changed in an episode of Chelsea Lately before it can be aired.  Obvious words to be bleeped and discussion points that are inappropriate.  Different friends have been lied to in big and small ways, from Chelsea pretending to be pregnant with more than one of them, to friends moving in with her, to people being sex addicts or amazing winners at betting.  I have to admit that I am a tad gullible, so if I were a friend of Chelsea she would probably get me every time with her lies.  I would be the one thinking out her whole pregnancy ahead of time or worrying for her about this or that.

So what I learned from this book, if you ever become a friend or staffer of Chelsea Handler do not leave your computer on and unlocked when you leave your office or she will send an email to someone from it with some kind of big lie in it like, you just realized you are gay, you are very attracted to someone else, or something equally embarrassing.  Be careful taking medicine from someone else's house, just because the label says one thing, what is in the bottle might be something else.  And lastly, have fun with life.  It is more fun to laugh than to cry!

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781455504657
  • Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
  • Publication date: 5/10/2011
  • Sold by: Hachette Digital, Inc.
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 304

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